Its official, according to the Home Office here in the U.K. I have fully integrated with life here in the U.K. and I have shown a solid understanding of the English language (hence my play on the title in case you are a little slow) and I can now apply for "Indefinite Leave to Remain".

The "Life in the U.K. Test" itself wasn't really a major problem and consisted of 24 multiple choice questions taken randomly from a large pool of possible questions. I can't divulge too much information about the questions and I definitely won't divulge any of the answers, but I will say this ... the testing centres sure know how to waste time.

You have 45 minutes to complete the test and my appointment was for 13:30 ... so I thought, cool I should be done but 14:30 ... come on, how long can it take to write a test and get your results ... hah ... try getting home after 15:00.

You get there, show your ID, pay the fee and then get taken up-stairs to a waiting room. You then show your ID again, have a supervisor fill in some information on a computer screen for you and get taken to another waiting room. Now this has happened for all the 20 candidates that were there.

So now it is time to take the test, show your ID again, sign a form and take a seat. Then the supervisor yacks for like 15 minutes, show your ID again and then watch the supervisor log you in to the system so you can take the test.

Now you have 5 minutes to do a 4 question practice test ... you can do this practice test twice ... if you want. I did it once and waited patiently for a different supervisor to come and log me in ... oh did I mention they checked my ID again.

And now the test starts ... woohooo ... answer the questions, leave the ones blank I am not sure about and go back to them. Have a little think and answer them ... look at my watch 3 minutes 40 seconds into the test ... *doh* ... go through the questions a second time, just to make sure ... look at the time 4 minutes 15 seconds into the test ... *aarrrggghhhhh* ... do another round of question review ... 5 minutes 6 seconds ... ahhh screw it.

So I got up (you are allowed to leave and go to the waiting room after you have finished your test) much to the bemusement of all the supervisors. So I look around ... oh crap everyone is still writing ... hah suckers. Then I remembered what the supervisor said: "You will only get your results once everyone has finished the test!" So there I was, sitting in the waiting room at 14:25, the test started at 14:15 exactly and I got to wait.

Finally at about 14:50 they came up with the results and I was the second one to get my results (thank goodness it was alphabetically on surname) and I have my ID checked one final time. The biggest issue with the test is as follows: wasting my bloody time!!!

The other issue is that if you fail, you have to wait 7 days, re-book your test ... and PAY again ... but at least it is done now and I have passed this minor hurdle in my endeavour to become a British Citizen.

To anybody who wants to do the test, buy the official study guide and buy the practice tests ... it worked for me and I have the little white piece of paper to prove it ... don't bother with on-line test sites and other money-making places.

If you study the study guide, do the practice tests ... you will be well prepared for the final test ... oh and maybe learn to use a computer ... some people *mutter* *mumble*.

So we celebrated with my wife finally get the tattoo she wanted and I had a pizza from Dominos ... strange place this.